It’s 8:30am, I’m drinking my coffee and reading my Twitter stream, when my phone suddenly rings. I pick up and hear the voice of one of my long time gal pals (let’s call her…BAMBI) and I can instantly tell that this call is going to be about a GUY by the sound of her voice.
BAMBI: Stacey…OMG, I am in LOVE!
ME: What? How? You were single the other day!
BAMBI: I knew at first sight…as soon as our eyes met.
Before I go on, let me just say that I started experiencing NAUSEA right at this very moment. I just told myself, “Just listen Stacey…DON’T offer any advice”
ME: Wow, that sounds intense. Where did you meet him?
BAMBI: In a hotel bar.
Did you sleep with him? ((((BITING MY TONGUE)))))
BAMBI: He’s a Pilot!
ME: I see….(((Now BITING THE INSIDE OF MY CHEEK)))
BAMBI: Why are you being so quiet?
Because you are CRAZY and I am rolling my eyes right now! Um, honestly?
BAMBI: Of couse!!!!
ME: I guess I am biting my tongue. I don’t want to say something naysaying that will rain on your parade. It’s quite possible that I am still jaded about the whole “LOVE” thing, so I am going to just listen and exercise my right to remain silent.
BAMBI: Ha! Possibly? More like DEFINITELY. But, you are NEVER silent. This must be serious. So, what? Just tell me.
ME: No, let’s just wait and see. Maybe he is different than most, maybe there is something totally unique about your situation with him. Let’s just give it some time and see how it goes naturally.
BAMBI: Well he flies in this weekend, so I should know more by Monday.
ME: Know more?
BAMBI: Yeah, he said he wants me to move in with him.
ME: WAIT…WHAT?! Where?
BAMBI: I know it’s spontaneous but you’ve gotta admit it’s exciting, right?!?!
BAMBI: We’ll live in my place for now, but eventually somewhere by the beach, once he gets his private license.
ME: Wait…you mean he wants to move in WITH you? After what…a week? Private license? Is he getting laid off by any chance?
BAMBI: It sounds crazy, but we get along so perfectly. What do you mean? He’s a pilot already, he just need to get licensed in the U.S.
ME: (((Tongue is BLEEDING from biting so hard)))
BAMBI: Oh and we Skype all the time, he’s soooo good looking, OMG.
ME: Do you ever talk on the phone? Email exchanges maybe? Have you asked about his career goals? And what do you mean U.S.? Seriously…find out.
BAMBI: No, we just Skype.
BAMBI: It’s way cheaper.
ME: Yeah, it’s FREE! LOL
BAMBI: Oh…yeah. (giggles)
ME: Has he ever taken you out? Who paid?
BAMBI: Yeah, we hang out with all the pilots from his country.
ME: His country? Where is he from?
BAMBI: I love his accent.
ME: (((FACE TOTALLY RED AND HOT AT THIS POINT)))
ME: Ok, I can’t do this…Bambi, honey…LISTEN TO ME. Have you ever heard of “Green Card Weddings”, “Sugar Mammas” and “Girl In Every Port Syndrome”? Yeah, that is what you are looking at here. You are basically his “Me love you loooong time” girl with a butt load of money and a US citizenship. PLEASE don’t fall in love with a guy like that. I mean come ON, after a WEEK he’s talking about moving IN? Dude, I was in a relationship for YEARS and the guy never once discussed moving in (hindsight, THAT was a red flag too)! But anyways, look…if you want to have fun with “Mr. Cute Accent Guy” (responsibly of course), than so be it…but to say you are in LOVE? No friggen way. Honey…I adore you, I WANT you to be happy, but I don’t want to enable you to jump on this crazy, euphoric “love high”, only to crash hard once you realize it’s all a lie, and then what? I sit here and watch you feel all self defeated and sad? No, I want to protect you from that. I’m a mom, it’s what I do. 😉
BAMBI: I don’t care if I crash Stacey, I love the high. I am so happy right now.
ME: Ok…(((EXASPERATED sigh)))
ME: Look, I “get” it. I remember those days, I do. I’m just saying that hindsight if I could go back in time and UNDO my stupidity…I totally would. You’re so young, sweet, and beautiful…oh AND your family is rich. Seriously honey…you need to screen your prospects. I don’t want anyone to take advantage of your circumstance. That’s all. But I know you have to do what you have to do, and no matter what anyone says, you’re gonna do it anyways. We ALL do. I just worry about you…that’s all.
BAMBI: You’ll see…he’s different Stace.
ME: I hope so hon. I really, truly hope so.
BAMBI: Shoot, gotta go…time for my spray tan! Love you, talk to you later k?
ME: You too -xo
SO much for keeping quiet STACE! Sheesh, talk about crap will power, woman!!!
Let me ask all of you…what would you do in this situation? As a gal pal…as someone who cares? Do you see the red flags and mention them to your friend? Would you take the risk of letting your friend crash and burn without ever saying anything at all…natural consequence? Or do you speak up and interject?
As a Libra I find myself going back and forth on the subject. Curious to hear others input.
All I can hear is that song by KE$HA….♫ You’re love, you’re love is my drug! ♫
Oh and yes, I am sure my friend will read this blog…hence why I changed her name. So feel free to share any wisdom you have for her. Ha, one of the causalities of being in a relationship with a blogger/writer, you are always going to end up their content at one point or another, lol!